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An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate…
My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. She’s telepathetic.
I can now confirm for sure that Women really know how to hold a grudge. My girlfriend asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!
milking a shark-cow
I was wondering what you could get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
Bring love to a date.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
The Lawyer and his firm .
A young lawyer is working late one night in a law firm when his door opens and in walks the devil himself. “I have an offer,” says Satan. “If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, I’ll make you a full partner in your firm.” The lawyer stares icily at the devil for a full minute before demanding, “So what’s the catch?”
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”
I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.