โฃAn elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulateโ€ฆ ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

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โฃMy wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. Sheโ€™s telepathetic. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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โฃDentist: โ€œThis will hurt a little.โ€ Patient: โ€œOK.โ€ Dentist: โ€œIโ€™ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.โ€

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โฃWhen I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

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โฃA young lawyer is working late one night in a law firm when his door opens and in walks the devil himself. โ€œI have an offer,โ€ says Satan. โ€œIf you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, Iโ€™ll make you a full partner in your firm.โ€ The lawyer stares icily at the devil for a full minute before demanding, โ€œSo whatโ€™s the catch?โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: โ€œI used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!โ€

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I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.

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โฃStealing someone's coffee is called mugging and A criminal's best asset is his lie ability. ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

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โฃFinally, Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 30.

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โฃTwo fortune tellers meet. The first one says, โ€œWeโ€™re going to have a hot summer again.โ€ And the second one sighs happily: โ€œYes, it reminds me of the summer in 2098โ€

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โฃTwo teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited: โ€œMan I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dudeโ€™s house and the guy had toilets made of pure gold!โ€ โ€œNo way! he saidโ€ โ€œYes way,โ€ insists Fred, โ€œcome with me and check it out for yourself if you donโ€™t believe me.โ€ - Twenty minutes later theyโ€™re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her, โ€œHi! Iโ€™m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesnโ€™t believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!โ€ - The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, โ€œRoger, the pig that shat in your trombone is here!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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โฃWhen my girlfriend starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbours can see there's no domestic violence going on.

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โฃTwo elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while, one elephant says to the other: โ€œI really donโ€™t get how he can feed himself with that thing!โ€ ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

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โฃI proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no. She thinks I am just after my money. ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ

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โฃI can now confirm for sure that Women really know how to hold a grudge. My girlfriend asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. Itโ€™s been a month now and sheโ€™s still not speaking to me! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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I was wondering what you could get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldnโ€™t try milking it. ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ˜‚

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โฃIf A Baby Born In Morning Is Called MONICA, In The Evening - EVELYN, On The Floor - FLORENCE What Do u Call A Child Born In A Car?

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โฃNo living organism runs faster than a girl with makeup when it suddenly starts raining ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Don't argue with me I'm having chest pain๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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โฃEvery time you get dressed, remember if you die, thatโ€™s your ghost outfit forever. Always dress well

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